Are You Middle Aged or Ancient?

(I originally posted this at The American Catholic, and I thought the humor mavens of Almost Chosen People might enjoy it.)

Courtesy of Father Z.  I don’t know, I think my kids would say I am ancient.  Let’s take that test:

1.  Are your veteran benefits paid in sesterces for your valiant service in the Social War?

2.  Is your reaction when people say, “We can’t be fired, slaves have to be sold!”, well, duh!

3.  Do you view the tribunes as a radical destabilizing force in the Republic?

4.  Do you think those illegal aliens from Magna Graecia should be shipped back south, especially if they won’t learn Latin?

5.  Do you think the Dionysian mystery cult is leading the younger generation astray?

6.  Do you think the State needs a man like Cato the Censor again?

7.   Do you view the plays by Plautus as soft core porn?

8.   Do Legionnaires on the street refer to you as Nestor?

9.   Do you feel completely wiped out before that first goblet of wine in the morning?

10. Are you certain that punk J. Caesar will come to no good?