Invading America is a Very, Very Bad Idea

 

Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant, to step the Ocean, and crush us at a blow? Never!–All the armies of Europe, Asia and Africa combined, with all the treasure of the earth (our own excepted) in their military chest; with a Buonaparte for a commander, could not by force, take a drink from the Ohio, or make a track on the Blue Ridge, in a trial of a thousand years.

Abraham Lincoln, January 27, 1838

Hattip to Ace of Spades blog for the map.

 

 

Should hostilities once break out between Japan and the United States, it is not enough that we take Guam and the Philippines, nor even Hawaii and San Francisco. To make victory certain, we would have to march into Washington and dictate the terms of peace in the White House. I wonder if our politicians, among whom armchair arguments about war are being glibly bandied about in the name of state politics, have confidence as to the final outcome and are prepared to make the necessary sacrifices.

Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto, Commander in Chief, Imperial Combined Fleet, January 26, 1941

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Published in: on May 21, 2018 at 5:30 am  Comments Off on Invading America is a Very, Very Bad Idea  
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Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Patriotism in the female sex is the most disinterested of all virtues. Excluded from honors and from offices, we cannot attach ourselves to the State or Government from having held a place of eminence. Even in the freest countries our property is subject to the control and disposal of our partners, to whom the laws have given a sovereign authority. Deprived of a voice in legislation, obliged to submit to those laws which are imposed upon us, is it not sufficient to make us indifferent to the public welfare? Yet all history and every age exhibit instances of patriotic virtue in the female sex; which considering our situation equals the most heroic of yours.

Abigail Adams to John Adams, June 17, 1782

 

 

Published in: on February 1, 2018 at 5:30 am  Comments Off on Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow  
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The Dino Conspiracy

 

A video celebrating the unsung contribution of Dinosaurs to US victory in World War II.  Prior to this video the only other source to recall this forgotten chapter of World War II was Star Spangled War Stories, a DC comic book series in the Sixties.

 

 

 

Why has this history been kept from us?  An accident?  I think not!  It is a conspiracy so vast that the almost entire lack of evidence proves the conspiracy!

Published in: on January 18, 2018 at 5:30 am  Comments Off on The Dino Conspiracy  
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An Unforgettable Version of the Twelve Days of Christmas

Something for the weekend.  I have always found the Twelve Days of Christmas a bit boring.  I was therefore enchanted when I heard this off-beat version by the acapella group Straight No Chaser as my son and I were driving back from the U of I  after I picked him up after finals in December of 2012.  Humor, the needed leavening of life!

Published in: on December 16, 2017 at 5:30 am  Comments Off on An Unforgettable Version of the Twelve Days of Christmas  
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Will Success Spoil Jeff Davis?

I was four years old when the Civil War centennial began and eight years old when it ended, but even I recall what a big hoopla it all was.  In the midst of it all, Thomas Lawrence Connolley, who would become the foremost historian of the Confederate Army of Tennessee, brought out a book in 1963 entitled Will Success Spoil Jeff Davis?, a satirical look at the often over the top aspects of the centennial observations.  The book is a howlingly funny look at Civil War mania and still is relevant today.  Here is a tiny sample:

The easiest way to publish something on the War is to submit an article to a historical journal. Better still, start your own journal. There are some two thousand in print and, judging by the tone of the articles, many of them are in need of material. Journal writing has its advantages. If he cannot write good prose, the writer can bury himself in footnotes. The footnote is a clever device, designed to confuse the general reader and absolve the author of any lawsuits. For example, consider a typical footnote to the statement “General Crumbley was a bastard.” 34

34. Ibid, see also, Cornstalk, Bastards in Gray, loc. sic.* op. sit., loc. site, sob. Many maintain that General Crumbley was not a bastard. See Thirty Years  View by Mrs. Crumbley, op. sit., sic. hoc. Major Kumpley maintained that the General may have been a bastard but that he was indeed
a “magnificent old bastard at that/* See diary of Isaac Bumpley, Moose University Archives, XXCI, pt, 2, Sept. 21, 1863. In addition to being a bastard, the General was also a Mason. See diary of Cornelius Kraut, 1st Wisconsin Infantry, SWMVHR (XXI, Je. 45).

(more…)

Published in: on October 13, 2017 at 5:30 am  Comments Off on Will Success Spoil Jeff Davis?  
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Stalin is Still Dead

Strong language advisory as to the above video:

I have long thought that there was a hilarious dark comedy waiting to be written about the power struggle that occurred in the Soviet Union after the death of Stalin.  His daughter described his dying which took several days:

“Father’s death was slow and difficult…. His face became dark and different… his features were becoming unrecognizable…. The death agony was terrible. It choked him slowly as we watched… At the last moment he suddenly opened his eyes. It was a horrible look — either mad, or angry and full of fear of death…. Suddenly he raised his left hand and sort of either pointed up somewhere, or shook his finger at us all… The next moment his soul, after one last effort, broke away from his body.”

The film is coming out on October 20, and judging from the trailer it looks rather historically accurate.  Stalin’s death began a long chain of events that ended with the fall of the Soviet Union.  A fitting “celebration” of the centennial of the October Revolution.

Published in: on September 29, 2017 at 4:03 am  Comments Off on Stalin is Still Dead  
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Dissolve Illinois!

 

 

 

(I originally posted this at The American Catholic, and I thought the humor mavins of Almost Chosen People might enjoy it.)

 

John Kass, the only reason to read the Chicago Tribune, has a column calling for the dissolution of the failed State of Illinois.  Go here to read it.  I see my chunk of the State would go to Indiana.  I could live with being a Hoosier if it meant being out from under the thumb of Cook County.

 

 

My preferred solution of course would be Illinois separating into two new states:  The Land of Lincoln and Cook County.

 

Alternative names would be God’s Country and Hell.

Published in: on June 27, 2017 at 5:30 am  Comments Off on Dissolve Illinois!  
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Star Trek for Libertarians

Published in: on March 28, 2017 at 5:30 am  Comments Off on Star Trek for Libertarians  
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Ronald Reagan: The Happy Warrior

“The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad,
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad.”

GK Chesterton, The Ballad of the White Horse

Today is my sixtieth birthday.  As faithful readers of this blog know, I share a birthday with Ronald Wilson Reagan.  I have long admired Reagan, the greatest President of my lifetime.  Of Irish ancestry, Reagan had the Irish habit of smiling in a fight.  A man of strong convictions, Reagan never forgot that his domestic adversaries were political opponents and  not enemies.  His humor was never mean spirited, and much of it was directed against himself.  Completely comfortable in his own skin, he never took himself seriously while taking very seriously what he believed in and fought for.  Happy birthday Mr. Reagan, and may there be plenty of good humor in the life to come for you to add to.

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Published in: on February 6, 2017 at 5:30 am  Comments (1)  
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Trust in God and Keep Your Hand Grenades Primed

 

 

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, “Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.” And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals … Now did the Lord say, “First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”

A Reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20

(I originally posted this at The American Catholic and I thought the history mavens of Almost Chosen People might enjoy it.)

Ah, history is ever so much stranger than fiction:

A centuries-old hand grenade that may date back to the time of the crusaders is among a host of treasures retrieved from the sea in Israel.

The metal artifacts, some of which are more than 3,500 years old, were found over a period of years by the late Marcel Mazliah, a worker at the Hadera power plant in northern Israel.

Mazliah’s family recently presented the treasures to the Israel Antiquities Authority. Experts, who were surprised by the haul, think that the objects probably fell overboard from a medieval metal merchant’s ship.

The hand grenade was a common weapon in Israel during the Crusader era, which began in the 11th century and lasted until the 13th century, according to the Israel Antiquities Authority. Grenades were also used 12th and 13th century Ayyubid period and the Mamluk era, which ran from the 13th to the 16th century, experts say.

Haaretz reports that early grenades were often used to disperse burning flammable liquid. However, some experts believe that so-called ancient grenades were actually used to contain perfume. (more…)

Published in: on September 1, 2016 at 5:30 am  Comments Off on Trust in God and Keep Your Hand Grenades Primed  
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